Why I Comment on Everything I see on the Internet

As a self proclaimed geek it's important that I be up to date on all of the internet happenings. Naturally I do this by browsing Reddit and Twitter, as well as news aggregates like Yahoo! and Google News.

Never 4chan though, 4chan forums are the bowels of the internet. We never go there. EVER. In fact, here's a handy infographic of the life of an internet meme/picture/what have you. (courtesy of Tosh.0)

I usually begin my troll---er I mean purveying at around step 2: Reddit.

Naturally being such a purveyor and connoisseur of internet memes I like to express my opinion on the content I happen to be looking at, and I leave a lot of comments. However not everybody likes to leave comments, or not everybody cares enough to leave a comment, and this is a terrible, horrible thing. Everybody should leave comments, even if those comments are just poorly spelled half-sentences that make no sense to anybody but the poster. After all, it's the thought that counts right?

Why do I comment though? And why should other people comment? Why it's simple Mr. Hypothetical internet questioner! I enjoy making my opinion known. I have a right, nay a duty to make sure that every single person who reads an article or watches a video knows my opinion. This duty extends to everybody who uses the internet too, I should think.

Sometimes it's not even my opinion! Sometimes I just try and think of the most offensive thing to say to the crowd that happens to read this article. Preferably I choose to enter this offensive little morsel in ALL CAPS FOR MAXIMUM OFFENSIVENESS. I ALSO INSURT AS MENY SPELING ERORS AS I CAN, BECUS THAT MAKS IT MORE PERSONL N SHIT. SUMTIM3S R3V3R71NG TO CH47 5P3AK 1S B3S7. 

Hi, I'm a troll. (Only on weekends though)

No but seriously, why do people comment on the internet so vehemently? It's dumb. Just stop. kthx.